personal

Olympic memories

I have had other things on the mind instead of the Olympics this year. I am thrilled for the athletes, I think that this is an amazing achievement to be able to compete at Olympic level. I was incredibly proud to wake up and hear that Wayde van Niekerk had won South Africa’s first gold medal at Rio2016.

But I was pissed when I read an opinion piece that included views that Caster Semenya, was not a woman and should not be able to compete in her events. Caster Semenya has been through hell and back, the way in which she was treated by the world wide media and publicly submitted to all kinds of gender testing was nothing short of despicable.

So, I come to vent, and to reveal bits of my psyche to you. The first Olympic games that I remember were the 1992 Games where South Africa was not yet able to formally compete, just entering the global arena and trying to navigate into a post-apartheid society.

I remember Elana Meyer running under the South African Olympic Committee’s flag, and I remember Freddie Mercury singing Barcelona. My parent’s also bought a commemorative CD (they had just come onto the market at that stage). At 8 years old, the music resonated with me, especially the lyrics of the first track, entitled “Forever Part of Me”, by Ar Be Em.

They are looking for a photo opportunity
An instant one off media event
Five seconds on the news,
A chat show for your views,
Watch out! They’re looking for you now.
They think that you shouldn’t ever show emotion,
Have a personal computer for a brain,
But once you have given them your trust,
Your reputation turns to dust.
Watch out! They are looking for you now.
But I don’t care, if you come nowhere.
No, I don’t mind, if you are left behind.
So long you face the test,
So long you do your best,
You’ll always be forever part of me.
They want your tears, it gives them stimulation.
Like a child, they just refuse to do without.
To gratify their need, to satisfy their greed.
Watch out! They are looking for you now!
They are waiting for a major confrontation,
But a simple private tragedy will do.
The vultures at the beast,
They are waiting for the feast.
Watch out! They are looking for you now!
But I don’t care, if you come nowhere.
No, I don’t mind, if you are left behind.
So long you face the test,
So long you do your best,
You’ll always be forever part of me.

The Olympics have a level of magic for me, and this song has always carried the meaning of the Olympics for me. Once upon I took it as an insult to be compared to my mother, now I take it as a compliment to take on her optimism, and so to all of the South African athletes, I am proud of you. So perhaps, tomorrow I will end up watching some Olympics tomorrow after all.

Love and Olympics,
Trisha

Add to identity: teacher

Hello computer,

It’s funny the paths that we end up on. I can currently call myself a teacher (in addition to being a mom, and web designer). I am blessed to be teaching some home-schooled children web design and I am loving it. It is stretching me in ways that I did not expect, and reminding me of my younger self. There is something amazing about watching someone get a concept…it is like seeing a sunrise across their face and with smiles that can light up the world.
It is wonderful to watch how these youngsters interact with each other. And in other ways, it reminds me of how much my parents taught me. I don’t know if I will continue beyond this year…the immediate commitments that I have made but I am incredibly grateful to be sharing the journey with these children.

I am facing challenges because these kids are not all the same and that is part of what makes this journey worth while, I love working with these individuals. It helps me knowing that they are learning good habits as well, and I have begun to relax more. (When I confided my initial stress to Riaan telling him about the burden that I felt to make sure that I did not teach them bad habits he reminded me that everyone picks them up anyway.) I am proud to be able to say that these students understand the importance of separating structure and presentation.

It feels good to be giving back to the web design community, to the people who have taught me so much by passing it on.

Love and lessons,
Trisha

Terry Pratchett on Death and Grief

“People lived, and died, and were remembered. It happened in the same way that winter follows summer. It was not a wrong thing. There were tears, of course, but they were for those who were left; those who had gone on did not need them”
“She heard him mutter, ‘Can you take away this grief?’
‘I’m sorry,’ she replied. ‘Everyone asks me. And I would not do so even if I knew how. It belongs to you. Only time and tears take away grief; that is what they are for.”
Terry Pratchett – I shall wear midnight

“No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away…”
Terry Pratchett Reaper Man

Some tips for Insomnia

Hello Computer,

I generally don’t struggle with sleep. However, every once in a while I struggle with insomnia. It is a special kind of torture to not be able to sleep when your husband and child are sleeping peacefully on either side of you.

image credit: Tambako The Jaguar via Flickr — image credit: Tambako The Jaguar
via Flickr

As such I have learned a few tricks which help me when insomnia strikes. None of them are guaranteed but since they contain no artificial additives I don’t feel bad about trying them.

Probably the most effective trick that I have discovered is the 4-7-8 breathing technique. At it’s simplest you breathe in slowly through your nose for a slow count of 4, hold your breath for a slow count of 7 and breathe out slowly through your nose for a count of 8. I cannot remember it taking more than four cycles of this breathing technique to fall asleep.

The next most important thing that I have learned is that screens and sleep do not mix. It comes down the frequency of the light in the screens.

Surprisingly caffeine does not seem to have a huge impact for me…but then I am a tea drinker. Sometimes if my thoughts are racing it helps to just get out of bed and dump as many thoughts as possible on paper… I try to avoid using a screen for this because screens and sleep do not mix.

I have also noticed that I cannot game before trying to sleep. The games are just too stimulating. When I go through patches of insomnia it seems having a bit of a wind down routine helps, and sometimes getting out of bed and repeating the routine can work.

Love and sleeplessness,
Trisha

The Great Email Purge of 2015

Hello Computer 🙂

"I do the work for free. I get paid to deal with all the emails." — image credit: Hugh MacCleod shared under Creative Commons License

I decided that I get too much e-mail and most of it is from mailing lists. Some of the mails are useful but not useful enough to justify my time, others are from mailing lists that I signed up to but that are no longer relevant to me.

So the other day I decided I was going to radically cut back on the email that I received. I decided that I was going to keep 6 subscriptions and everything else was going to go. It was not a trivial task, in my combined in-boxes I had over 5,000 emails across 3 different accounts.

I started with a list of who I was going to stay subscribed to (presented in no particular order):

John Carlton
Dan Raine
Lynn Terry
Jeff Walker
Gapingvoid
Appsumo

I wrote these names on a little piece of paper…I also said that I was going to consolidate those emails into a single account, rather than being signed up across multiple accounts. The biggest inbox contributor in my one account was Facebook notifications. I have now turned off notifications. (I will probably do a friend purge in the not too distant future as well). This turned out to be a blessing because I use gmail as an email client and was able to use the search and filter functionality to clean out the mails. (HINT: search using *@facebookmail.com to select all of the mails in one go).

I was pleasantly surprised by how little SPAM has made its way into my inbox… I would say that less than five percent of the mails that I received were not opted into at some stage or another.
In addition to opting out of most newsletters I have created filters to make sure that I only get mails worthy of my time in my inbox…which also means that I am more likely to check the email since I have been known to get overwhelmed and just archive every single message in my inbox without reading it without even declaring email bankruptcy.

I was pleased to see how many South African companies are providing to opt out of mailing lists although there are some people who are still just using “send to all” in their email client…and not even BCCing the emails. Some people need to get into the 21st century. Those emails are simply now being filtered straight into the trash.

This was a challenging exercise and it was partly inspired by Lynn Terry’s rule of “Create as much content as you consume.“ It forced me to truly look at my priorities and there were some people who definitely create worthwhile content who I have broken away from, including Ed Dale.

I am looking forward to seeing how this email strategy pans out.

Love and less mail,
Trisha

The power of shitty first drafts

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.” – Anne Lamott: Bird by Bird

I first came across the concept of the Shitty First Draft on Copyblogger years ago. But it is something that I have battled with. Ed Dale helped me get over it, when he introduced me to the concept of free writing. I am not exaggerating when I say that this thirteen and a half minute video has changed my life and I seriously recommend that you watch it.

The essence of a shitty first draft is that it is okay to suck. It is okay not to be perfect. And

The word perfect. — image credit: Bruce Berrien via Flickr

that is what gives permission to start. Without starting it will never become worth while. Some people argue against the Shitty First Draft, likening it to a builder rocking up on site and just willy-nilly throwing a house together, but for me it is more akin to sketching the ideas for the architect on the back of a napkin.

Before yesterday I had never created an online portfolio…not because I am not confident in my work but because I have been afraid. Yesterday when I began I was literally frozen in fear, until I typed the words:

This is a shitty first draft of a portfolio…it doesn’t matter if it sucks because no one is going to see it in this form anyway and so I am just going to start.

Having those words sit at the top of the page allowed me to acknowledge my fear but move any way. Fear is a very human emotion and I think it is something that we learn…to avoid mistakes, and from there it is easy to convince ourselves to stay small to avoid risks to not show up.

The power of a shitty first draft is that it allows me to show up. It may not be perfect but it is something and something that can be improved upon.

Love and shitty first drafts,
Trisha