Trisha Cornelius

Figuring it out as I go

breastfeeding

We are a breastsleeping family

Hello computer,

I am a co-sleeping mom. I never planned on it. In fact I was quite sure that Lucas was going to sleep in a cot from quite a young age…we bought a little snugglenest on the spur of the moment just before Lucas was born. Lucas’s birth didn’t go quite according to plan (we ended up having an emergency cesearean birth instead of a vaginal water birth) and so we started co-sleeping because it made breast-feeding easier.

Riaan had one full week of paternity leave and then because Entelect is an amazing company to work for…he took another two weeks of working half-days. All the while, we were three in the bed. One night when Riaan was back to work full-time I fell asleep with Lucas in my arms instead of placing him back in the nest with one of his night-time feeds.
The next night the same thing happened and so, I booted the nest out of the bed and we have been sleeping three in the bed like that ever since…with more space.

I have not been completely unaware of the controversy and the arguments against bed-sharing while also noting some of the arguments in favour of it. My main argument was that Riaan and I got much more sleep. Sleep is good. I am a fan of sleep.
So I noticed with interest when I saw an article advocating for breastsleeping.
It is nice when science validates what your gut tells you…but this parenting thing is all about going with your gut and there is just so much data, a lot of it contradictory in any case.

So, for now while it works for us we will carry on breastsleeping.

Love,
Trisha

Controversial breastfeeding?

I know that I live on my own little planet and that I am careful about what I allow to come into my orbit. (I decided to make my mental health a priority and hence I am careful about what I expose myself too…especially if I am unable to change anything about the situation).

But, why on earth is breastfeeding considered a hot topic? It’s one way to feed a baby. I personally love the convenience of breastfeeding and am incredibly grateful for how smooth  a journey Lucas and I have had. (I am typing this post as he is having a nap and a feed)… But seriously.

There are far more important things that should be regarded as hot topics…the state of our healthcare system, the corruption that is rife in our society,  climate change.

People it is just feeding a baby…and fed babies are a good thing.

Love and bewilderment,
Trisha

I feed my baby in public

breastfeedingI am one of those women who breast feed in public. I never got the hang of using a sling to feed my baby and quite frankly I tried putting his head under a blanket once at home…he hated it. Now that his older he may have a different opinion and believe that the blanket is fun to play peek-a-boo with.

I happen to have a healthy level of self respect and none of my family or in-laws have ever mentioned having a problem with me feeding my child around them. In fact my family encouraged me to breastfeed with them around.

If I needed to slink off into the shadows to feed my child I doubt that I would have continued breastfeeding as long as I have.

There was an interesting kerfuffle on Facebook the other day about breastfeeding in public and the main arguments were:

  • breastfeeding in public is the same as having a bowel movement in public
  • breastfeeding in public is the same as having sex in public
  • breasts are sexual and therefore breastfeeding is sexual
  • it makes some people uncomfortable and if mothers do need to breastfeed they should slink off to the bathroom and do it or use a cover

This attack on breastfeeding upset me quite badly, and Riaan gave me a beautiful perspective. He turned around and said that unless the person literally consumes all over their food and liquid either in the bathroom or with their head under a blanket they have no room to talk.

And it all fell into place for me, I breastfeed in public because I eat and drink in public and don’t see why things should be any different for my child.

Love and controversy,
Trisha

 

Dear formula feeding mom:

An open letter from a mom whose kid has only ever had breastmilk.

I don’t know why you are giving your kid formula. I don’t know if you struggle with your supply. I don’t know if your little one battles to take milk from the breast. I don’t know if you had a traumatic birth that left your body riddled with infections and you are supplementing with formula. I don’t know if you are taking some medication that contra-indicates breastmilk. I don’t know if you just want to give your baby formula. Quite frankly, I don’t care either.

The reason why boy has only had breastmilk is because it has been the most convenient for us, he got the feeding thing down pat pretty immediately. (Having said that, Riaan and I did say we wanted to aim for six months of exclusive breastfeeding, which we managed). On the odd occasion that I have sorted out a bottle (of expressed milk) for him I have found it to be a schlepp.

So now I am going to slaughter some sacred cows and give my opinion on some of the most common arguments that I hear against formula feeding.

  • Formula feeding can help you bond with your baby just as well as breastfeeding (and in some cases better). I do know a couple of moms who struggled with breastfeeding and once they started giving their baby’s formula they were able to relax. This relaxation allowed them to connect with their babies and in my eyes, the less stressed version of themselves became better moms.
    What matters is that you are able to connect with your child not how you are giving them sustenance.
  • Formula feeding can be dangerous. Yes, this is true. If you do not have access to potable water giving your baby formula can be problematic. But a lack of access to clean consumable water is a problem for everyone not just little babies. (If you don’t have access to drinkable water chances are you will have problems with milk supply if you are breastfeeding in any case).
  • Breast is best. All things being equal, maybe this is true. But in my experience as a mom things are not equal. They are in a constant flux even while in routine. So while it is true formula does not replicate the exact composition of breastmilk, it is far from the dangerous substance it is made out to be.) Interestingly enough, formula fed babies are not at risk for a vitamin D deficiency due to the composition of formula unlike their breastfed compatriots.
  • Breastfed babies are smarter, healthier and more developmentally advanced. Once again based on personal observations (which is actually all that we have when it comes down to distinctions between children since there are too many uncontrollable variables) I am calling bullshit. From what I have seen the babies who are formula fed are just as healthy, intelligent and at the same developmental stages as their cohort.

So I guess the point of my rambling rant is this.  The only thing that matters is that you feed your kid with love, and you have at least one breast feeding mom in your corner.  (And I am sorry you have to put up with nonsense like this)

Love and venting,
Trisha