Trisha Cornelius

Figuring it out as I go

Don’t confuse me with a felon

The U.S presidential election is approaching with great rapidity, it seems that just the other day we were debating in the student center at university about what John Kerry’s policies actually were, and suddenly, it’s eight years later.

I don’t live anywhere near the United States but the nature of the beast is such that regardless of where you are in the world, you are, to some degree affected by who is in charge of the United States. (I’m not going to split hairs and nitpick about the separation of powers, that is a blog for another day.)

The other day someone shared a link to iSideWith.com a site which polls your opinion on a number of policy issues and then gives you a result about who you align with in this presidential election. I think that it is a very well done site and I urge my United States readers to check it out.

But, there was one question that irked me. For the question “Do you support increased gun control?” One of the options was “No, only for individuals with mental health issues and convicted felons.”

Um, excuse me, there seems to be quite a conflation here. Having a mental health issue and having been convicted of a felony are two distinct things, I acknowledge that there is a small level of cases where a convicted felon also has mental health issue, but these are in the minority of cases.

Society needs to take a stand about this kind of conflation because this is part of the reason for the stigma attached to mental illness. Mental illness for the most part is not a choice, it’s a reality that people live with. Committing a crime that results in a felony conviction is the result of a series of choices. (I’m working on the assumption here that there was a competent defense and an ethical prosecutor.)

I understand that this question is framed against the backdrop of the Gabrielle Giffords shooting, but it does not excuse the conflation and increase of stigma.

Hopefully, one day this stigma will become a thing of the past. In many ways having a mental illness can be likened to having a condition like hypertension or diabetes, no one would propose stricter gun control on that basis.

Love and hope,
Trisha

The Nature of Sin

I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about religious matters. I am comfortable with my eclectic spirituality, made up as it is like a quilt with different pieces of wisdom from various sources that fit me in the here and now. I don’t believe in a vindictive beard in the sky waiting to condemn me to eternal damnation. But every once in a while, I will end up considering a psuedo-religious question such as what is the nature of sin.

Once upon a time when I was a teenager someone who shaped my life ins such a way that can only happen when you are young, postulated that if there is a God, the ultimate blasphemy, would be the failure to use our mental faculties, since that is the thing that makes us completely unique from the animals. This notion has stuck with me and later when I read Carpe Jugulum by Terry Pratchett, I internalized Granny Weatherwax explaining that the nature of sin is when you start treating people, including yourself, as things. This coupled with parts of Pratchett’s other works has shaped part of my morality, and I strive not to identify people as them. Because once you start thinking of people as them, it is that much easier to start thinking of them as things and treating people with less kindness, compassion and respect.

I’ve just finished reading The Road Less Travelled by M Scott Peck and he argues that the nature of sin is laziness. That as spiritual development takes work it is laziness that pulls us away from our potential and encourages us to stagnate. I don’t quite know whether I entirely agree with this sentiment or not, but it seems to be both logically and morally sound.

For me, I think it does not come down to what you profess to believe, but how you treat people, especially yourself. Because the person who you practice your habits on the most is yourself, if you are kind and compassionate towards yourself as a default behaviour you are much more likely to treat other people with compassion and kindness.

Love and philosophy,
Trisha

The Pretoria National Botanical Gardens

The rushing water subsiding

South Africa is a beautiful country and a nature lover’s paradise. Today Riaan and I ventured to the Pretoria National Botanical Gardens, one of nine gardens run by the South African Botanical Institute. The natural vegetation present in the garden is classified as Marikana Thornveld.

We had set out pretty early and so arrived at the gardens around eight-thirty, and this turned out to be a good thing, because it was a warm morning in sunny South Africa. Since we had other things to do later in the day we decided to only focus on two attractions, the Tree Route showcasing indigenous trees and the waterfall, planning to return to walk the Dassie (rock hyrax) trail in the near future.

The waterfall is interesting because it is man-made, and it is a very impressive water feature. Initially it is quite disconcerting when the water flow slows to a trickle before coming gushing down again but this provided some interesting and fun photography practice.

Ana Tree

The Tree Route is a self-guided tour of fifty of South Africa’s indigenous trees, an interpretative booklet can be purchased at the garden’s ticket office for R20.  Most of the trees on the route are clearly numbered but every so often a number was obscured. The map in the guide contains approximations of the tree locations which encourages you to look more closely.  The booklet contains both tree information including the scientific and common names, general information about the trees and the occasional bit of trivia and local lore. Each entry is accompanied by photographs and symbols denoting their requirements and additional information (such as whether it attracts birds or butterflies, has medicinal uses, is edible or is poisonous).

photograph of Trisha Cornelius (me) lying flat on my back after taking a photograph of the first tree on the Tree Route in the Pretoria National Botanical Garden
Looking up an Ana Tree

Good to know:

  • Entrance to the gardens is R24 per adult, free for botanical society members
  • Take hats and sunscreen
  • Wear comfortable walking shoes
  • Bring your own water bottle (there are water fountains).

Love and gardens,
Trisha

P.S. I posted more photos of Pretoria Botanical Gardens on Facebook.

 

Disclosure: I am a member of the South African Botanical Society but have no other affiliation with the garden and this post represents my opinion of the Pretoria Botanical Garden.

For this post:

I write like
H. P. Lovecraft

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

Horror, fantasy and science fiction author.

I don’t owe you an explanation

As a society we are encouraged to say yes and if we say no people try to make us feel guilty about it. But the thing is, no is a complete answer, and it should not be accompanied by guilt, nor does it need an explanation.

Saying no does not make you a bad person. Saying no is not a bad thing. And yet, it comes with a huge guilt burden, especially for the female population.  From the time we are little girls we are primed to think that we are responsible for other people’s behaviour and happiness. The image that a woman is supposed to ensure that everyone is fed, cleaned and clothed is insidious. The role of a mother is projected onto all females, and heaven forbid, a young lass bucks the trend. Girls are supposed to be feminine and want to be pretty. They should not have fun climbing trees or be geeky. Nor should they ever confess that they don’t want to have children.

This week I went shopping for a little boy and a little girl who I knew absolutely nothing about apart from their ages. It was an enlightening experience because I found myself noticing biases that I did not know that I had. For instance, why did I dismiss the puzzle with a picture of a rocket as being inappropriate for the young girl. Perhaps if this young lady ever goes to space she will have a similar sentiment to Sally Ride:

The thing that I’ll remember most about the flight is that it was fun. In fact, I’m sure it was the most fun I’ll ever have in my life.

The thing is if you had asked me about this bias I would have strongly disputed its existence. Yet, it clearly influenced my behaviour. Logically, I should not have such a bias, I am a highly educated female with a professional degree.

I also found it fascinating about the fact that I was asked about my children, and when I replied that I don’t have any I was subjected to an interrogation regarding why I don’t, and when I’m planning on changing this. But the important thing is that really is nobody’s business except mine and Riaan’s. I don’t owe anyone an explanation, and yet I needed to fight the urge to justify my decision to other people. It’s my life and I have every right to live it my way.

Love,
Trisha

For this post:

I write like
Douglas Adams

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

the author of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Seriously cool!

Am I having an identity crisis?

There is quite a fun little site on the internet that analyzes your writing. The message that I wrote about living with a mental illness is apparently written like David Foster Wallace. Who I have never heard of. I sense a research and reading assignment.

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

My post about the challenge of loving our bodies is written like Cory Doctorow. Cool!

I write like
Cory Doctorow

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

When the text of my post about my encounter with the salesperson is analyzed, it says that:

I write like
Margaret Atwood

I Write Like by Mémoires, journal software. Analyze your writing!

I Heart My Body 2012: The Challenge of Loving Ourselves

A woman’s beauty is supposed to be her grand project and constant insecurity. We’re meant to shellac our lips with five different glosses, but always think we’re fat. Beauty is Zeno’s paradox. We should endlessly strive for it, but it’s not socially acceptable to admit we’re there. We can’t perceive it in ourselves. It belongs to the guy screaming “nice tits.”

~ Molly Crabapple

When I ventured onto the interwebs this morning I discovered it is I Heart My Body day. This is a campaign which encourages us to remember that we are beautiful, even if we do not satisfy a conventional media model of perfection.

The thing that we are encouraged to forget is that we are all different, it is much easier to market to a demographic where we are encouraged to think that we are just the boxes that we tick: BMI this, height that, race x, eye colour that. And more than that we are encouraged to assess ourselves on a surface level. It sometimes seems that society pays more attention to what we look like than what we are. We are encouraged to spend money on cosmetics and to feel inadequate, but not encouraged to be kind and compassionate, either with others or ourselves.

Today is a day where we take a stand against this. Today is a day where we are encouraged to remember that every single one of us is beautiful. Where even though we may not live up to some media image of perfection we are perfect just as we are. We can change ourselves if we want, but right now, we are good.

After I saw the fact it was I Heart My Body Today and made that decision to join in the rallying cry of remembering that I am special, and that my body is amazing, I made a conscious effort to take a look at the tops of my arms. If there is any part of my body that I could magically transform, it would be them. So, I looked at them and took a moment to appreciate the strength that is found inside them, the fact that my arms allow me to give hugs and cuddles, to cook, and to just carry on regardless. Our bodies are amazing, if you take a moment to think of all of the things that your body allows you to do, it is absolutely amazing, and it’s pretty easy to say I love my body.

In the post about I heart my body, it asks if we can name three things about our bodies that we love. I’ll start:

  1. I love my eyes, they have a different spectrum of colours ranging from a light hazel brown to chocolate based on my state of mind and state of heart.
  2. I love the feel of my lips.
  3. I love my feet and ankles.

What do you love about your body, leave a comment and let me know.

Love and truth,
Trisha