I am blessed to be able to describe myself as a full-time mom and part time web designer. I appreciate the time that I get to spend with Lucas but sometimes I envy the working moms. I think that it is natural for us to look at what other people have and to not necessarily be satisfied with our lot. But, I feel so terrible for not being more appreciative right now.
I feel like I am not the mom who I want to be at the moment. I want us to be more organized and have a week’s meals figured out without the help of the Daily Dish. I want to not collapse in exhaustion when my husband comes home…and yet, I know at the moment I need to cut myself some slack.
I know that I will figure it out, and I can take advantage of the time that I do spend with Lucas. I love reading to him and cuddling with him watching television together. And there are precious moments in the bath. I want us to have a more of a routine but I don’t have the energy to figure it out for us yet.
My life is currently in chaos, and I suppose I need to embrace it for now. Acknowledging that life is messy, but that I can clean it up one step at a time.
Love and chaos,